I swing back into fantasy storytelling with “Washington Smile”. After a few weeks of releasing some political-ish songs, I wanted to pivot back into what I enjoy most about the A86 project: crazy stories.

So, Bigfoot.

A creature that never really struck fear in me, though it probably should. I guess there are not many stories of Bigfoot eating people. He always seems to be hiding, avoiding people, or standing slightly out of focus in the woods like he owes someone money.

I knew I wanted to write something about the myth, but I could never find the right inspiration.

Now, how the hell did I end up writing a song where Bigfoot fights George Washington?

Well, it sort of happened after seeing this photo of Georgie boy’s teeth.

I mean, look at these bad boys. Holy shit, man. What the fuck, right?

Washington employed dentures that were constructed of a variety of materials, including human teeth; cow, donkey, or horse teeth; hippopotamus, walrus, and possibly elephant ivory; lead, tin, copper, and silver alloys, and gold.

So yeah. Washington was sort of a fucked up pioneer of fake teeth.

Now stay with me here.

What if he heard about a large primate creature in North America, one with an amazingly big smile?

Yeah dude.

Now we have a motive.

Bigfoot could not just be a sad animal hiding in the woods. This guy had been winning hide and seek forever, sure, but there had to be more to him than that.

So with all of this as my inspiration, here is the story.

George Washington, as a hobby, is always looking for teeth. Right as the Revolutionary War starts heating up, he comes across the King of the Land himself.

He does not find a big huggable forest monkey. He finds a huge minotaur great ape hybrid. Intelligence behind large dark eyes. Giant human-shaped feet built for sprinting. Massive horns for combat and protecting territory.

Washington cannot help himself.

Instead of focusing on the war, he leads his men across the country to hunt this beast, the future King of Men.

The beast does not want open conflict with men carrying guns, so he keeps luring Washington into large groups of redcoats.

History books look at Washington as a military genius, always in the right place at the right time.

Really, it was Bigfoot.

Long Island. Trenton. Valley Forge. Yorktown.

All of it was Washington hunting his prey, with a final conflict that ends in a draw, and a tooth.

The song is fun, funny, and built around a cool stupid concept that I genuinely loved writing. I finally got my Bigfoot story, just in the most Android 86 way possible.

Musically, I sang the song for RIOT and had him use my vocals as a sample. Then I wrote a couple groovy bass and rhythm guitar lines that push the song forward. The lyrics took the front seat because I wanted the story to be clear.

The final result is a cello-supported groove metal song with a bouncy rhythm, simple drums, and a ridiculous amount of Revolutionary War cryptid violence.

“Washington Smile” comes out June 26th.

Check it out.