Let’s talk.

The Lacerta Files are bananas. I mean, who the hell would believe that, right? I mean, Native Terrans that have lived on Earth for millions of years. Worshipped by the Egyptians and Incas. Called out in the Christian Bible.

Crazy talk.

I mean, her real name would be pronounced something like “Sssshiaassshakkkasskkhhhshhh.” Which sounds a lot like Wayne’s ex-wife.
(Read my damn book for the reference! Coming soon >.>)

Alright, so according to her, humans fuckin’ blow. We have a built-in switch that just lets any psionic being flip a “there are no droids here” switch on us, and just eat their spaghetti with no silverware right next to us while we’re trying to enjoy a quiet meal at Olive Garden. We wouldn’t hear the slurps, burps, or shit-talking. To us, it would just be a reserved couple having an intellectual conversation.

That, and she calls out our government. Basically: “Your government has been talking to a few aliens, and they got duped. They gave you tech, but taught you how to use it wrong, as a joke, or just to keep you idiots busy.”

But wait, there’s more.

Lacerta’s people are super chill, solar-powered homies, just trying to hang out underground and catch some fake sunlight in their artificial sun rooms. But there are other reptilians, and according to her, some of them basically hate us. Some can apparently mess with human perception, appear human, and are probably running a nation state some where, causing trouble.

Lastly, we were sort of fast-forwarded from monkeys for labor and war. Which makes sense. I love me a 12-hour work day followed by daydreaming about being Vegeta while I work out.

So yeah.

This song just came out of me. Imagine being the person she told all this to.

“Thanks for ruining my life, Lacerta. I’m just going to try to pretend things matter and totally not feel isolated from the rest of the population now. Maybe start taking drugs and hiding from the government, because now I know too much.”

Anywayyyy, the song is fire. I really like how it came out.

Industrial metal, loaded with badass effects, some cool riffs that I “borrowed” from a song I abandoned a few years ago, and lyrics that I wrote after listening to the files on YouTube for a few days.

It hits ye olde Spotify this Friday. If you listen to it there, I get like a penny or something.

Or you can listen to it here, now, on YouTube:

Thanks for reading!